Light My Path



Let wisdom sit upon my tounge.
For everywhere I speak you listen.
Keeping watch as a mother of a small child.
Your words breath life into me.
Happy am I to listen to your dicipline.
In your house I find my abundance.
I  keep seeding your garden.
Hoping my prayers please you.
Keeping a clear path, I walk with you.
Reprove me Jehovah, make me wise.
Keep me close, do not let me go.
Let my heart be joyful.
Help me to understand your knowledge.
Please feed me constantly all my days.
I fear my God, but I have no confusion.
Insight your fruitages within me.
Make my path clear.
Let me make your heart rejoice.
Help me to stay straight ahead.
Give me your people.
How good you are Jehovah.
Give me upward insite.
May my words always be pleasant.
Keep me clean in all my acts.
Make my heart answer my meditation.
Hear my prayers Jehovah.
Let them deliver a good report of me.
My ears are a lodging to you discipline.
Allow me to gain my heart.
Humble me Jehovah.

My Battle, My Disease...My Story in Short.



I wanted to write a piece about something that has afflicted me since I was 11 years old. This is something I don't share with too many people. I have been thinking lately though about how many people are suffering like me with this condition and how I should be speaking out to help encourage my fellow sisters that they are not alone. I have PCOS. Those letters stand for Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. Between 5-10% of women of child bearing age are afflicted. Some 50% of those women are insulin resistant. Which can cause impaired glucose tolerance or Type 2 diabetes. In the USA, 1 in 40 women have PCOS, that is 6.8 million approximately. Despite that large number PCOS listed among rare diseases, perhaps because of the nature of this disease many women, like myself, are embarrassed and may feel shame to share their story.
So what is PCOS? Well I am no doctor, but I live with it everyday. I remember when I first saw my PCOS on an ultrasound. I could see my ovaries, but they didn't look like the egg-like ones I remember learning about in health class. The were covered in little cyst and were clustered all over both my ovaries. Every time I release an egg I develop a cyst over that premature egg and the egg will not release and mature. That is how I understand that.



So what does that mean? I have talked to a few women and the effects are different for every woman, although there is consistent symptoms among the majority. The levels of severity are different for everyone. I have been told I have a severe case.

Since I began puberty I have had abnormal periods. Sometimes going 8-10 months with no period and then going 2-8 months of severe heavy bleeding. This has limited my activity at times. This can also be very embarrassing as I am often bleeding to much to be able to control my period with female hygiene products. I get very tired and weak from the blood loss and sometimes faint. Just about every single year I have to have surgery to clean out my uterus to stop the uncontrollable bleeding. They give this procedure the same name as an abortion, which has always made me uncomfortable and every time I visit a doctor have to list my surgeries and explain why I had those procedures and that I did not have an abortion. Several years ago I had an abnormal pap smear and surgery was needed to remove pre-cancer cells because of PCOS causing the lining to build up in my uterus. I was told that if I didn't take my Metformin and diet that I would have to have a hysterectomy in 6 months or less and despite that I would need one in 5 years, so I better hurry up and have babies. Which brings us to the next symptom.

I battle with infertility. PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility in women. I was told I would never be able to have children. In 2005, excitedly we were pregnant, but 2 months later we had miscarried, which is also a side effect of PCOS. I was devastated, my desire to have a child only grew stronger. I went through invasive fertility treatments without success. The drugs and treatment gave me severe mood swings. After all of the treatments and medications we financially, physically, emotionally and mentally were drained and could do no more. About 2 months later we were pregnant and now have a healthy baby.

Another common symptom of PCOS is weight loss and gain. I have fought hard to balance my diet without much success. I exercise and watch what I eat, but honestly I see very little improvements most of the time without extreme hardcore dieting or supplements.

I have some friends that have suffered with extreme abnormal hair growth due to PCOS. I count my blessings so far that this has been only a minor issue with me. I have been able to control it on my own without laser removal procedures.

Well that is some of the long battle summarized of course. The treatment? Diet, exercise and Metformin.

Cause: Unknown

Cure: NONE

My momma always told me: "If you think you have it bad, take a look around and you'll find someone worse off". That is so true. I fight this disease everyday, usually with a smile and in silence, but I thank Jehovah, God for all my blessings and I look forward to a time no one can say "I am sick!" as promised in the scriptures.

http://www.pcos.tv/

http://www.facebook.com/search.php?q=PCOS&init=quick&tas=search_preload&search_first_focus#!/pcosfight?sk=wall



http://www.rightdiagnosis.com/p/pcos/stats.htm

Chasing Emptiness

Towing has taken it's toll.
Demands made on high.
Tugging till my heart is numb.
Don't have pity, I understand.

Always trying to find the black,
Scarlett on my brow.
Worked hard for only bones.
Crushed like Sonic ice.

Caesar don't take vacations.
Always getting his royal.
Only payback is empty metals.
Don't forget death or homeless.

Gaskets blown.
Get in line.
World is in a whirl.
I take another ride.

Master calling wanting his green.
Don't worry you'll get your loot.
Living on white bread will make us both fat.
I'll keep nesting.

There is no sandman.
Idols are dead.
Your not my fetish.
You hold no value.

Quit taunting him.
I will not waver.
No longer a victim
Stop toiling with me.

I'm done chasing wind.
Never satisfied.
I will feast at my fathers table.
All I need is him.

Labor Day - What is it Really?

As a kid I didn't really know what Labor Day was, but just knew my mom was off work and I wasn't in school and that was good enough for me. In Haymarket Square, 1886, a bomb was thrown at a labor rally resulting in a police riot. While the rest of the world sees the date as a key moment for worker's rights, the United States was afraid of the connection and set its labor day at the end of summer.
Then in 1894, Congress passed a law recognizing Labor Day as an official national holiday.  The Socialist Party held a similar celebration of the working class on May 1. This date eventually became known as May Day, and was celebrated by Socialists and Communists in commemoration of the working man. In the U.S., the first Monday in September was selected to reject any identification with Communism and the 1886 riot in Haymarket Square.  The two holidays though are forever linked, as for in many country including the US, May Day is now known as Labor Day.



The root of this holiday goes back more then most realize. In the beginning it was a celebration of pagan cults that worshipped trees and other things in nature. Overtime it was adopted to celebrate military and industrial workers. Many ancient traditions stem from the old Roman festival of flowers which included dancing around the May Pole and singing songs.  There is also superstitions dating back to pre-Christian times edged in luck.

The question I raise is "Can a Pagan Holiday Be Made Clean?" 2 Corinthians 2:14-17 reads: "Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what sharing does light have with darkness? Further, what harmony is there between Christ and Be´li·al? Or what portion does a faithful person have with an unbeliever? And what agreement does God’s temple have with idols? For we are a temple of a living God; just as God said: “I shall reside among them and walk among [them], and I shall be their God, and they will be my people.” ‘Therefore get out from among them, and separate yourselves,’ says Jehovah, ‘and quit touching the unclean thing’”; “‘and I will take YOU in.’”

Source: http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/common/labor-day

What I would do with a $1,000,000 (Million Dollars). Anna Graceman - America's Got Talent



Has anyone else been watching America's Got Talent? I am not a faithful watcher, it's hit and miss to me. But I did catch the 11 year old girl singer, Anna Graceman. Such a big voice. I was trying to think at 11 years old, what my mind frame of a million dollars would be and what would I, at that age, would do with that type of money. Then I thought never mind that, what would me a hopefully more mature 11 year old in an adult body do with a million dollars. So here is what I came up with:

1. Pay off my bills and my parents bills.
2. Make a donation to my religious organization.
3. Finish a few things at the salon that I have been wanting to do.
4. Get hubby to find a job closer to home.
5. Hubby and I enter the full-time ministry work and go where the need is great.

Other then saving it, I couldn't think of anything else. I don't want a new house, no new cars for me. I don't need no more shoes. Thinking about this I realized what I really want out of life, I don't need a million dollars to do it. Being content with what you have in life, reliance on Jehovah, God and family and friends are the important things. All the rest is just "shiny things" and "noise".  And I don't listen to noise or chase sticks sooo...What about you?