Veil Of Shame Lifted

I fell upon my knees,

no longer worthy of your grace.

Why do you make me feel this way?

I gave you all I had.

I did all I could,

it wasn't good enough.

I thought you had tossed me aside,

but here I am.

Why keep me?

I have failed.

You whispered to me,

but I didn't hear.

You told me,

but I was not near.

Finally I heard your screams.

Heartfelt, I listen.

It was my last chance.

There it was shame,
What?
You didn't cause it?
I had it all wrong!

Self-inflicted and evil,

used as a tool.

I wasn't to blame,

nor were you..
Played as a fool,
cunning at his trade.
Had my heart in his vice.

Should have known,
there is no tree of shame.

Trapped like a caged animal,
wounded but whole,
you released me.

Trampled and down hearted,
you caused him to leave me.

But you picked me up.

You took me under your pinions,

lifted me back up

and set me high.

This guilt was not from you.

You love me.

And I love you.

Thank you,

Jehovah.

Thank you.

Scratches - The Day After

Disappointed and numb.
Burdened by pain or love,

which is it?

 

Confused,

Needles in my eye's,

blisters on my hands,

screams down the hall,

the baby is coming.

No comparison.

 

Its deeper.

It must be love,

but sadness floods me.

 

Did you fail to see me lose my breath?

Confused I erase you.

If only that was so easy.

Wind knocked out I lay here alone.

Is my heart still beating?

Then I remember I can make lemon drops.

What's the recipe?

Your unknown, don't judge me.

I am coping.

Scratches heal.

I'm out.

Letter To Molly

I knew you from the day we made you.

You are our hope and dreams.

Excited we waited to see you,

still waiting.

I hold your picture closely.

The painful day I was given the news,

no comfort could reach me.

That explained that cramp,

but I denied you were sleeping.

Death is the enemy.

I knew you only for a moment,

but I carry your love all my days.

Together soon we will be,

finally holding you in my arms,

knowing everything you are.

My womb you will be restored.

That is now my hope.

Together again in paradise.

Forever.

(She would be 6 years old, this September 2011)

My First Crush...by Lacey Shanks

I think it is very ironic that my first crush was a boy named Tommy and now I am married to a man named Tommy. If you are wondering it is not the same Tommy, haha! I honestly can't remember if it was kindergarten or first grade, but that crush lasted a very long time. How long? All the way to second grade. Tommy was the cutest boy in class and talked the most. He had spiky hair, slight dimples and tan skin. He was always talking about girls. I thought he was so dreamy. Although I didn't have a word for it then I remember my thoughts were that he was so mature for his age. He didn't bully anyone, he was kind to everyone and he liked to chase me on the playground and play teeter ball with me.

Just outside of my teenage years I went to visit my hometown and had to do a drive-by of the neighborhood I grew up in. Afterwards I wanted a few more nostalgic memories so we stopped at the 7-Eleven for a Big Gulp. Could you guess who I saw? Yep, Tommy my first crush standing less then five feet from me and he looked exactly like he did all those years ago accept taller. It's funny, how we change, a much older me was not at all attracted now to him. I was about to say, hello, but the words never came out of my mouth. I guess I was still in shock to see him and the fact that he looked exactly like he did in elementary school which amazed me. He quickly pulled off in a church bus and that was that.

Momma's Fear

The day I met you were so small.
The day I met you I held you close.
The days moved into weeks.
The weeks moved to months, all along holding you close.
You’re getting so big.
I only hope and pray the day will not come,
the day where I cannot hold you close.

One Chance by Lacey Shanks

I saw you drive pass,
at a slow pace.
I know it was you.
Never stopping to hello.

You confused me,
left me dazed
and unknowing.

A simple yes
of affection you gave
and now your lips are closed,
how come?

You embraced me once,
but only once
never to hold me again.

Are you just shy?
Did I say something wrong?
Do you not like my dress?
Questions I ponder.

Chances loss,
glances in vein,
for you’re too late.